A true confession from sissy tara
my sissy confession
At times being a sissy is so confusing. I’m still very attracted to beautiful women, but I’ve experimented with boys too. At times, all I can think about is sucking a cock and getting fucked hard by a good-looking man, while I’m dressed and feeling feminine, but I have yet to see a hansom good looking guy and say yes he’s the one that should be fucking me. Now perhaps that would be different if I could see their dicks get hard as I walked by, but that is not the way things work.
On the other hand, even though I’m constantly preoccupied with having gay sex again, no guy gets into my head, like a cute girl, or a good-looking lady. When, I see a sexy or good looking woman that trips my trigger, and makes my blood pump, (you know that girl I should want to have sex with) my mind immediately begins to wonder how she would react if she only knew my secret? What would she say if she saw my sissy pictures? What would she think? Would that alone be enough for her to sexually reject me and deem me unworthy of her body? Would she be the slightest bit interested in knowing more about me? If I’m dressed in fem, would she be intrigued and want to ask me questions?
For some reason having a woman asking me hard questions about my gender identity or sexual orientation gets me sexually aroused, even though I know my always honest answers are going to get me completely eliminated from contention for her intimate needs. There is nothing quite like that smirk a woman gets when she realizes what is before her. Normally I see the smirk, and then feel her eyes look me over, and suddenly I’m in heaven. For some reason once a woman realizes that a boy is feminine, or a sissy, her guard comes down a little, and she relaxes, as if she now, she has a license to see me differently, and I’m glad she feels that way. Those few precious moments are so good, as she completely categorizes me into the unworthy but interesting category, something happens to me and it is as satisfying as orgasm itself. Perhaps it’s the mind fuck or an orgasm of the mind, but it’s very deep and very satisfying to know that I no longer have any masculinity left in her eyes!
No matter how many girls, women, or ladies render me inadequate it never becomes enough. There is always some exciting variation of the process that continuously makes it exciting. Like the girl who asked me if I needed help when I was shopping for some new jeans. I told her I was interested in some boyfriend jeans and she just knew, I was shopping for myself and simply asked if I knew what size I wore. Ouch, I had been eliminated by a simple glance and question. She wasn’t shocked at all and had already judged me totally inadequate. Typically, my mind snaps an image of the girl or ladies eliminating me, and later, I recall that image and masturbate. I jerk, and rub myself, usually only to the edge of orgasm, reliving my emasculation wondering about her taste in men, and I think about my inadequacies and their superiority over me. I continue playing with myself thinking about the possibility of them telling others about me and my shopping trip as I imagine and erotic encounter that can no longer happen as I was just eliminated and emasculated.
A little is never enough for me either. What started out as a panty fetish, soon turned to wearing women’s jeans, and then to shoes, and feminine tops. One successful trip, always leads to the next inevitable step. I’m so addicted and continuously need to go farther. I take more and more risk each time, but can’t back off. There is never enough and I got braver and then found a photographer willing and posed for my first sissy photos. I was hooked and wanted to do it again. Only with a female photographer and crew. Eventually I got my wish even though I didn’t get to be completely nude before them. That experience was far more satisfying than the male photographer and his female assistants.
I went to yoga with the intention of letting the girls in class see my thong pop out of my shorts, but within a week, I had a pedicure done so they could see my toes. The following week, I was wearing women’s yoga pants. And, then instead of wearing shoes into the studio, I was wearing flip flops so that everyone could see. Eventually, I was wearing women’s racer back tops that leave no doubt they are feminine.
I loved yoga because the classes were almost predominately women and the few men there I just ignored, but if they would have simply said hi, I would have shown immediate interest. Going to yoga was incredible, as it was such a quick way to become emasculated by a bunch of women in a hurry. it was kind of like going to a masturbators smorgasbord, there were so many pretty faces and different body types to get myself motivated and the views in the poses didn’t hurt my eyes either. Getting judged by so many and knowing the only possible verdict could be inadequacy on my part was so liberating.
No longer do I even need to consider trying to impress these women as a male, once they saw me, my masculinity was gone. It is so simple, my only hope of impressing them at all, is with my willingness and eagerness to destroy my masculinity and embrace my sissification. It makes my penis hard to know that I have no chance of reverting back to being a viable male with any of these women, or any one they know. Surely they will warn any of their friends that may show interest in me, if I should ever try to revert. I rub myself thinking about the permanence of my actions and results.
Sometimes my appearance and willingness to go forward brings laughter and hysteria, other times disgust. I do try to limit the times it ends in disgust because I’m not really into ruining someone else’s day, just so that I can get my jollies. I have to admit, I also get a thrill out of the permanence of what I’m doing, because once I’ve been seen, I can’t be unseen. I’m pretty much fucked. I’ve gotten so comfortable with the risks that I’ve taken, even after a good strong orgasm, I don’t panic and worry, I simply wait for my system to build the desire to be seen back up again and continue on where I left off. Everything is becoming rather through now, and the next logical step is to tie it all together. Therefore, I have submitted my sissy pictures and this confession to be posted by Goddess Alexandria, where anyone and everyone could see it. The risk of it being on line is extremely erotic for me and I’m ready to get started!